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Ohhhhhh, Robert.



No.


No, no, no.


This, like the brief period of bleach insanity, is not something you should try on. Please remember that you shouldn't fix it if it ain't broke. That sort of facial hair should only be attempted by Leon Amoral- and even then, it's ridiculous.

rant

Hollywood is so dead.

Remaking Valley Girl? Valley Girl??? ....and The Rocky Horror Picture Show??? The fuck for?
Have a great birthday, Gavin!!





...it's your duty.

:D
Got'damn, I love the Go Fug Yourself entries concerning Karl Lagerfeld. I swear they are channeling hekatatia  when they write them.

Good: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/12/victoria_fugham.html
Better: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2008/05/met-ball-fug--8.html
Best: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/05/post.html

...and if you've never been front row to the glory that is Venus with some Beam in her, I weep for you. Tiny pellucid jewels cascade prettily from my eyes.

Feel it again: Do it.

"My sister's best friend totally banged the lead guitarist back in '87 in Toledo..."

GodDAMN, I love Canadians.



GASP! It really looks like he's walking through a Super Fabulous 80s Compuworld, doesn't it??? I expect him to run right into Max Headroom with that glorious mullet trailing behind him!



So your mission? List off 5 off the greatest "Oh, holy shit I haven't heard this in YEARS" songs from the 80's, and provide me with a vid link for at least one of them.

Totally undone

It must be so hard to be a teen girl. Especially when you're on the phone with a crush and constantly being interrupted by your five year old brother. 

It's even harder when you escape to the only room in the place where you can get some privacy, and that five year old brother bangs on the door and says "Hey! Are ya makin' BUTT COFFEE in there??!!!?"
On this "holiday", I shall make good on a threat to post about love songs.

Imagine. 1983. There are a few of you who won't remember or weren't even born yet- but just play along.

The Police released the album Synchronicity and the song "Every breath you take". Radio stations were barraged with phone calls from the lovelorn begging to dedicate that song to their sweetheart. I recall that it was one of the "most requested" from that time. It's certainly *the* song I remember most from my childhood. It played constantly.

I was ten years old when that album came out- and I managed to snag a taped copy off my uncle. That song and video scared the BEJEEZUS out of me*. Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you? That's not romantic, that is creepy, unnerving, play-with-yourself-at-a-public-bus-stop weird. (Then the video. The lone smouldering cigarette. The eerie glare and pouty singing. His weird dry-humping of the upright bass. That combined with his metal-pantied performance in Dune pretty much killed any potential tween crush* I might have had on him.) Scary as I found it, that song was huge...slow-danced to at prom...labeled "our song" by thousands of couples.  People skipped right over the obvious POV of a stalker or (frighteningly) identified with it. I just couldn't grasp why someone would find that the perfect dreamy song.

Add a few others with terrible lyrics, (I recall my friend Rachel's hilarious observation in high school about a Dokken song- "If you won't come back we're through"- what the fuck, Don?) and combine that with a teaspoon of bitter that is added when you spend the late 80s as a bespectacled, mouthy nerd who managed to land crushes on guys who proclaimed that you were "like my best friend....just like my sister" (and who doesn't just *love* that, huh? Especially when your intended decides a vapid acquaintance of yours is preferable- isn't it wonderful when you can bring people together? :/) and you get a simmering crock pot of shit and love song intolerance- you become a hater.

This opinion I once had has now cooled somewhat...I no longer say that all love songs are bad (although some really are- check out some of the crap on "Most beautiful love song" top ten lists). Most of my friends have a habit of choosing the perfect song to dance to at their weddings. I adore it when a song pulls you into a reverie and makes you forget where you are. Or when you're walking through a grocery store, absentmindedly singing along to something possibly cheesy and you notice someone else in the aisle is too (ask me about this anecdote sometime). Some songs are breathtakingly lovely, others sly and cute and there are songs that *always* make me happy without fail.

I especially love the ones that are less about love and more about the physical side of things. Shockingly, I myself have been the recipient on a handful of occasions and while most leave me with a nostalgic grin ...there are instances of wild abandon or  heart-tugging memory,

Of course, there are a couple which are best left in the mental trash can as they pain my heart and leave me cold or are simply ruined forever by a wretched association.

To those actually still reading this, and dutifully checking out the included links- what about you? Ever been on the opposite end of a radio shout out? Has anyone ever pined for you enough to humiliate themselves publicly? Have *you* been the humiliated, lovesick fool pouring your soul out to strangers? Did the song rule or was it a ghastly example of crap set to music?


*However- I did think the line "Humiliating kick in the CROTCH" from Synchronicity II was incredibly funny. I was ten, what did I know?

**Alright, there was a possible glimmer of "ooh" when I was given a library poster of Sting in costume from "The Bride" with a book and the command "READ" printed on it. Hey, Regency clothing *and* literate?  Then I saw the movie. Quelled again. Buuut- That did start my bizarre Clancy Brown thing.....ok, no. I won't go there save to say "Go Longhair Kurgan".

Hoopty DO!

A few things...


* Just because I once found a drinkable bottle of wine for five bucks, it does not mean that it will happen again.

* Some time ago I got a bag of Necco hearts that were destined to be delivered to a hooker. This time, they are barely legible. Smeared. "In a fog", "be good" and something that looks like "fix me". The hell, did I get Britney's bag?

*Because I was asked to repost it: http://hnos.livejournal.com/287794.html#cutid1

*Starting tomorrow, I am going to start ripping apart the lyrics of love songs. Open to suggestions.

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